Here I go again...

I had a blast hanging out with my boys in Pop Evil last night as they opened up for Whitesnake and Judas Priest at the Chevrolet Theater in Connecticut. I first got there while they were doing a sound check, I am a bit of a techno-gear slut, so it was fun to look at all the cool equipment their using...

Pop Evil did a kick ass job winning the crowd after a few songs then continued on to tear it up for the rest of their set. Tony, the lead guitar player, does an insanely awesome solo as part of the show, which really kicks the audience's ass in the face. Matt bounced around the stage, Dylan held it down on the drums, and Dave rocked out with his mohawk out. DJ Donnie D was missed as he wasn't on this leg of the tour but hopefully he'll be back soon.

Leigh really worked the hell out of the crowd and toward the end of the set, Pop Evil threw in a chorus of Pantera's "Walk" right in the middle of their hit song "Hero"

When the set was over the crowd was on its feet as I looked on like a proud parent. I love those guys and think they are doing a super kick ass job. I really miss being out on the road with them.

Afterward I hung out on their bus for a bit, where I discovered that Dave has a Tinkerbell night light in his bunk with sheets, blankets and a pillowcase to match! Hilarious.

Check out Pop Evil on myspace-> http://www.myspace.com/popevil


Dave Coverdale up to his pants in antics.

Whitesnake was thoroughly entertaining and well aware of their own aburdity. One of the highlights was the 10 minute guitar battle which displayed a blistering barrage of impossibly fast soloing between the two guitar players. Dave Coverdale worked the crowd like a veteran and indulged in all of his trademark moves. The whole crowd sang along to their classic hit "Here I go again!"

Priest rocking some British Steel and up to their buds in studs.

Three songs in, Priest launched right into breakin' the what??? "BREAKIN' THE WHAT?!!!" That's right, "Breakin' the law!" They did their synchronized head banging and rocking back and forth while playing that famous riff, which was a lot of fun to watch! The crowd went crazy during and after every one of their songs, and I even got to watch a bit of the show from the side of the stage!

Billy Mays - End of Days?

As he travels off into the great big infomercial in the sky, we remember the master Pitchman himself, Billy Mays. As co-star of the hit reality TV show Pitchmen, the boisterously blaring Mays could really yell you... er.. I mean sell you on any product out there!

RIP Billy Mays

What a crazy week this has been! I can't believe all of the bad news of these celebrity deaths. Who is next?

RIP MJ

Michael Jackson 1958-2009

I have always admired Michael Jackson's discipline and originality. What made him unique was not just that he could sing and dance, it was that nobody else could do it quite like him. If I've learned anything in life it's that you need to be different. You need separate yourself from the pack when it comes to whatever you do... and make it look easy.

Ed McMahon | 1923-2009

Great guy that Ed McMahon. Always searching for stars, knocking on their door and surprising them with a giant check and constantly laughing at their bloopers and practical jokes. We'll miss you and with that I say HEY-OH!

Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland

FIRST LOOK!

It's hard to imagine anyone else besides Burton directing this movie, though I'd be very curious to see what David Lynch would have done with this Lewis Carroll classic.

Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter.

Helena Bonham Carter as The Red Queen

Anne Hathaway as The White Queen

Mia Wasikowska as Alice

Tweedledee and Tweedledum

THIS JUST IN...

MEGAN FOX IS HOT!

Film at 11...

Summer Movies

Finally an original movie in Hollywood! Expect to see sequels. I must admit I did not expect this movie to be as good as it is nor did I expect to laugh my ass off. I am currently assless on account of all the laughing I did at this movie.

This is probably going to be the best movie of the summer so save your 11 bucks for The Hangover. Transformers 2 looks like it's going to stink like an enormous steaming pile of dead fish on top of hot garbage. I only say this because like the mythical King MidASS, anything Michael Bay touches turns to poo. Transformers was like watching a 2 hour car commercial. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to offend the makers of car commercials here, because they tend to have more of a compelling story than this movie had...

I vow to never see Transformers 2... but don't hold me to that as I can easily get sucked into movie hype. I eventually caved and saw Terminator Salvation. The director, McG, has the directorial depth of a dinobot.

*** SPOILER ALERT! ***

When the CGI Arnold Schwarzenegger shows up as the T-800 toward tend of T4 it's kind of hokey. Yeah, it's nice to see that Arnold's image makes an appearance, but we're taken right out of the movie at this moment and reminded that this is really just an obligatory nod. Terminator Salvation lacked the vision and sheer logic of he first 2 movies. McG doesn't really tie this movie into the series in a crafty way.

In the remaining 2 sequels that are to come I think the writers should take it from me here. When the Resistance inevitably infiltrates Cyberdyne to send Kyle Reese and the Terminator back through time to protect his mother and his juvenile self, they should do it all in one mission. That is to say, don't make it so simple to break into the technologically superior enemy base and travel through time. Economize...

I say they should simply have Kyle Reese infiltrate cyberdine, help reprogram the T-800, then send himself back to 1984 (T1) and the T-800 Terminator back to 1991 (T2) all in one mission from the same point in the future... make sense? (Oh, and let's just forget about T-3 alltogether... please? can we? Okay if he must, just amend my plot proposal to include the third turd of a Terminator movie)

Just consolidate their mission, ya know? Make it actually seem like they only have one chance to get it right!

So just take it from me Hollywood, it would make so much more sense and be way more compelling.

Palin Comparison

Recently David Letterman told a funny joke (albeit in poor taste) about Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol. The implication being that Bristol, who is an 18 year old mother, is therefore promiscuous and should stay away from philanderers like Governor Spitzer and Alex Rodriguez.

Ha-ha-ha!

Somehow Sarah Palin twisted the late night gapped tooth jab into an accusation that Letterman was joking about the statutory rape of her 14 year old daughter, Willow.

Wtf? Really?... SERIOUSLY?!?

This is obviously the cynicism of the Republican party in full effect. Sarah Palin is either dumber than we all thought or she's hoping that we're all dumber than she is.

I would have understood if she had just said "Letterman is a loser and his jokes are not funny," but to try and convince people that he's some sort of sexual predator is more ludicrous than the time she tried to define the Bush Doctrine.

Letterman has since apologized, but I think we all deserve an apology from John McCain for choosing her as his running mate and making us all aware of the heat seeking missile of embarrassment known as Sarah Palin.

Remake, Adaptation or Sequel

Ever get the feeling that every single movie that comes out these days is completely unoriginal? It's because people aren't willing to go see something new! I once spoke to a guy who edits theatrical trailers and he said that focus groups respond better to previews that show every major plot point of the movie. He also said people won't go to see a movie if they don't know that it has a happy ending before hand. This is why a movie trailer is generally 5 minutes less than its corresponding theatrical release.

Where's the originality? I'm someone who is very proud of my individuality and what I consider to be originality... But the entertainment industry is teeming with lemmings who are incapable of recognizing unique genius when they see it. Hollywood is always hedging its bets.

Let's take a look at some of the major movies that are coming out this summer...

1. Wolverine (Sequel to a Comic Book Adaptation)


2. Star Trek (Remake and Sequel)


3. Angels and Demons (Adaptation and Sequel)


4. Terminator Salvation (Sequel)


5. Night at the Museum 2 (Sequel)


6. Land of the Lost (Adaptation of a TV show)


7. Transformers 2 (Sequel to an Adaptation of a Cartoon based on a Toy)


8. Ice Age 3 (Sequel)


9. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (Adaptation of a Book and a Sequel)


10. G.I. Joe (Adaptation of a Cartoon)

If an original movie is able to make it, expect there to be umpteen sequels. You can also expect to see other movies with the exact same premise. For example, last year Adam Sandler came out with Bedtime Stories - (A family comedy about a hotel handyman whose life changes when the lavish bedtime stories he tells his niece and nephew start to magically come true.) Not to be outdone this summer we have to endure Eddie Murphy's "Imagine That."

Caine came and went...

(RIP Caine)

David Carradine died from an apparent act of auto-erotic asphixiation in Bangkok, Thailand last week. Well, if you're gonna go, you might as well go out with a smile on your face!

Carradine was best known for his roles as Caine in Kung Fu, and the bad ass Bill in the Kill Bill movies. He'll now be best known for he liked to do in Bangkok hotel rooms.

What completely blows my mind is not the fact that he was found dead in a Bankok hotel room with his hands bound behind his back while wearing a wig, high heels and stockings... it's the fact that David Carradine was the older paternal half-brother of Robert Carradine of Revenge of the Nerds fame!

Who knew????

iPhone, uPhone, we all Phone for iPhone.

(iPhone has everything AND the kitchen sink...)

The new iPhone just came out and it's getting harder and harder to resist! I'd love to get one but Verizon refuses to carry the iPhone. Rumor has it, Verizon wants more control over the software, and wouldn't allow application downloads. WTF?

A Nosebleed gets a nosebleed...

I feel bad for Brett Michaels even though he is a great big frothing douche bag. It doesn't mean he deserves a whack on the head like the one he got at the Tony Awards last night. I heard he broke his nose... oofah! Poor guy.

I can't stand the hysterical histrionic display that is the Tony Awards. Obviously I am biased because of my extreme aversion to any sort of spontaneous eruption of singing coupled with dancing. This show is hours and hours of people just telling each other what seems like a bunch of inside jokes, because I just don't get it.

Perhaps the curtain should have dropped on the heads of anyone watching this stuff...

Billy Sheehan

Open Sesame

Just got booked to do a taping for Sesame Street! How cool is that?!! I am looking forward to hanging out with Muppets. It's been a life long dream!

Children and Muppets are so much less complicated and a lot more pure than most of the adults I've had to deal with in this life.

Conan the King

Finally, the Tonight Show is watchable once more! After suffering 17 years of Jay Leno's whiny voiced ass kissing douchbaggery - we are now graced with a new, far superior host.

The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien premiered last night and overall I'd say it was a pretty good first show... not the greatest, but way more entertaining than Jay Leno ever was.

Andy Richter has returned after leaving Late Night several years ago, now in a new role as announcer and smiley sycophantic sidekick. They obviously have an excellent creative comic chemistry that translates well on television.

I'm looking forward to watching and seeing Conan crush.

Good Luck Conan!

Bruno and Eminem at the MTV Movie Awards

Hands down the best moment of the show...

(Real or What's the Deal?)

Sacha Baron Cohen as Bruno, came down from the rafters to land with his ass in Eminem's face at the MTV movie awards. I tend to think that Eminem would have had a much more violent reaction were he not expecting this.

Then again, Eminem and his enterage stormed out of the venue looking quite disturbed. I couldn't stop laughing!

Lynch for Lunch...

So tell us how you really feel...

Keanu Reeves Saves The World!... Again!

Has anyone ever noticed that Keanu Reeves' is always the moronic messiah?

Alex Winter teams up with Keanu Reeves in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure. They become the unlikely future saviors of the galaxy. I love this movie and its underrated sequel.

In Bogus Journey the dumbnamic duo re-teams to literally cheat death so that they can fulfill their density.

Okay so now we start to enter the land of Keanu the techno hero in a nice suit. In Johnny Mnemonic, he's THE ONE who has to carry vital information to save the world from an epidemic. He does this by wearing a nice suit, sitting in a chair and downloading the information into his big empty head.

Of course in all 3 Matrices, Reeves wears a nice suit and is THE ONE... He enters the Matrix, by sitting in a chair and sticking a huge probing adapter into his vacuous melon.

You see when you enter the matrix, you appear as your "Residual Self Image" which is basically a subjective view of oneself. Apparently every thinks they should be wearing a designer trenchcoat and sunglasses.

(Reeves has a natural talent for appearing more wooden than the chairs he sits in.)

The movie Constantine is kind of a mash up between the Matrix and the Devil's Advocate... let's just call it "Johnny Demonic" for argument's sake... Keanu is THE ONE who has to save the world from evil by sitting in a chair while wearing a nice suit and stabbing himself with a huge probing... light bulb? So that he can enter the hell matrix and cheat death from aliens.

The Day The Earth Stood Still - Reeves sits in a chair then cheats a lie detector test. He then puts on a nice suit that he needs to wear in order to save the earth from a giant bubble and a swarm of tiny robot bees.

Lynch Pin

David Lynch apparently doesn't think the iPhone is all its cracked up to be.

Hilarious!

Wireless Charging! How cool is that?!

Facial Transplant Surgery!

So this business about facial transplant surgery is one of the coolest things ever.
For someone who has lost the will to leave their home for fear of being ostracized because of a facial abnormality, this

Connie Culp, First American woman to undergo facial transplant surgery.

I understand that for years this type of surgery was banned all over the world! Why on earth would we deny people the chance to live a normal life?

Is the fear that young people will be killed for their youthful faces? Is that the future of plastic surger? Will we clone ourselves and replace our old parts with new ones? One can only wonder with such modern breakthroughs.

People who have been severely disfigured are now afforded a new outlook on life.

How cool is that?

TV's 50 Funniest Phrases on NBC

So last night I was watching hours of mindless tv, which included a 2 hour special of the supposed top 50 funniest tv phrases ever. Some classics were Steve Erkle's "Did I do that? from Family Matters to Southpark's "Oh my god, they killed Kenny!" to one of my favorites which is Homer's classic "D'oh!"

Since last nights special aired on NBC, it was blatantly biased to the point of absurdity. For instatnce, "That's what she said!" from NBC's The Office is supposed to be one of the funniest lines ever uttered on television.

REALLY?!

That's just something I heard all the time growing up and in no way do I associate it with Steve Carell! Although he is a brilliant comic actor, that line is not original.

It seemed like every other catch phrase was from an NBC show like Seinfeld, Friends, or SNL.

Taking the top spot was, not surprisingly, yet another NBC show, Seinfeld's classic line "Yada, Yada, Yada."

The producers of the show picked some decent phrases , where the hell were the REAL classic lines??? Like Gary Colemen's brilliant delivery of "Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?"

Seriously? That got overlooked when compiling this list? If I'm not mistaken, Diff'rent Strokes a classic NBC show!

And how the hell can anyone put together a list of funniest TV phrases without including Jimmy Walker's "DYN-O-MITE!"

Cheers has got to be one of the greatest NBC sitcoms ever, and they forgot "NORRRRM!?"

What the hell?

Sheesh, what a debacle! Now that summertime is here, I guess I'll have to put up with this awful, no budget programming!

50. “Hello, Newman” from “Seinfeld”
49. “Missed it by that much” from “Get Smart”
48. “Yeah, that’s the ticket” from “Saturday Night Live”
47. “God’ll get you for that” from “Maude”
46. “Hey, Hey, Hey” from “What’s Happening”
45. “Holy crap” from “Everybody Loves Raymond”
44. “Let me show you something” from “In Living Color”
43. “Nip it” from “The Andy Griffith Show”
42. “Thank you beddy much” from “Taxi”
41. “Do you wanna hug it out” from “Entourage”
40. “Watch it sucka” from “Sanford and Son”
39. “Jane you ignorant slut” from “Saturday Night Live”
38. “Mom liked you best” from “The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour”
37. “Sit on it” from “Happy Days”
36. “Now cut that out” from “The Jack Benny Comedy Program”
35. “I’m Larry, this is my brother Darryl…” from “Newhart”
34. “What you see is what you get” from “The Flip Wilson Show”
33. “I’ve made a huge mistake” from “Arrested Development”
32. “I know nothing” from “Hogan’s Heroes”
31. “Here come de judge” from “Laugh In”
30. “You look marvelous” from “Saturday Night Live”
29. “I’m comin’ to join ya Elizabeth” from “Sanford and Son”
28. “Would you believe” from “Get Smart”
27. “Up your nose with a rubber hose” from “Welcome Back Kotter”
26. “Ohhhh Rob” from “The Dick Van Dyke Show”
25. “Kiss my grits” from “Alice:
24. “Nanu, Nanu” from “Mork and Mindy”
23. “Don’t be ridiculous” from “Perfect Strangers”
22. “I’m Gumby, damn it” from “Saturday Night Live”
21. “No soup for you” from “Seinfeld”
20. “One of these days, pow right in the kisser” from “The Honeymooners”
19. “Did I do that” from “Family Matters”
18. “Will you stifle” from “All in the Family”
17. “Eat my shorts” from “The Simpsons”
16. “Hated it” from “In Living Color”
15. “Well isn’t that special” from “Saturday Night Live”
14. “Sock it to me” from “Laugh In”
13. “We were on a break” from “Friends”
12. “That’s what she said” from “The Office”
11. “It’s going to be legendary” from “How I Met Your Mother”
10. “Homey don’t play dat” from “In Living Color”
9. “Excuuse me” from “Saturday Night Live”
8. “Lucy, you’ve got some splainin’ to do” from “I Love Lucy” (even though he never said it quite that way – the closest he came was “Lucy, splain” and “All right, start splainin’”)
7. “Oh my god! They killed Kenny” from “South Park”
6. “Burn” from “That ‘70s Show”
5. “We are two wild and crazy guys” from “Saturday Night Live”
4. “Ayyyy” from “Happy Days”
3. “How you doin’” from “Friends”
2. “D’oh” from “The Simpsons”
1. “Yada, yada, yada” from “Seinfeld”